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The Middle Ages

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  • Middle Ages

    AARP The Girlfriend

    July 20, 2017

    AARP The Girlfriend

    Nice to see a publication for women 40+ since there kind of aren’t any, but does it have to an offshoot of AARP? The R does stand for Retired, if you forget, and that’s at least two decades away for me–and maybe you too.

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  • Middle Ages

    I Called It…

    July 19, 2017

    …millennials are already trying to make menopause cool. 

    “Is this the new normcore?” Haley asked.

    “Maybe,” I said. “I’m trying to think of how to describe it in that same vein. Middle-aged…menopausal…Menocore??”

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  • Middle Ages

    List: Signs You’ve Transitioned From a Manic Pixie Dream Girl to an Odd Middle-Aged Woman

    July 19, 2017

    List: Signs You’ve Transitioned From a Manic Pixie Dream Girl to an Odd Middle-Aged Woman

    Funny, but I hate when people joke that eating shitloads of sugar will give you Type 2 diabetes. That’s totally not true.

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  • Barred,  Middle Ages

    Venue for 35-and-Up Crowd to Play ’70s, ’80s and ’90s Jams — but no ‘Noise’

    January 11, 2017

    Venue for 35-and-Up Crowd to Play ’70s, ’80s and ’90s Jams — but no ‘Noise’

    Still too young.

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  • Middle Ages

    Hot Takes on Hot Flashes (Not on My Watch)

    November 20, 2016

    So, I may expand my coverage from drinking-related bits to broader themes–at least from time to time. I’m definitely not going to stop drinking. I implemented “Drygust” last month in a misguided attempted to de-chunk a little before a vacation and ended up gaining two pounds (so middle-aged, amirite?). (Argh, and now two months have passed since I originally wrote this and I’ve gained another 8 pounds–SSRIs are not my friend.)

    I’ve decided to revive this as a standalone blog and go hard on the subject. I’ve had four years (Jesus) to acclimate to the notion of middle-age, and I’m starting to come around and make peace with it. It’s not a bad place to be.

    But if I’m being honest, half the impetus is being driven by an unwinnable internal inter-generational feud and the need to claim what’s mine. Each passing year means millennials get that much closer to owning bone loss and comfortable shoes. The oldest in that cohort will be hitting 40 in five years, and we’re never going to hear the end of of it. Hot takes on hot flashes, making atrophied vaginas cool (yes, I’m obsessed with shriveled vaginas). 

    I will not let that stand (even if it requires a cane)!

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