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Worked up enough nerve to go to the closest bar to my new place alone. It’s in a strip mall with a day care and a massage parlor frequented by truck drivers. I won big and the bar was friendly so kudos to me!

A post shared by Krista Garcia (@goodiesfirst) on Aug 9, 2018 at 8:53pm PDT

When:  Thursday, 8:15pm

Technically, the closest bar to my new house. I have been hesitant to visit because strip mall bars make me nervous, and East Portland bars where you can’t see inside make me even more nervous. If you’re drunk enough, none of this matters, though.

I was good when I saw the bartender, late-middle-aged, in a cropped tank top. The clientele was a mix of ages and races, also a good sign. A group was sitting at a round table and singing that Was (Not Was) dinosaur song, “Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom,” for no reason in particular, which I couldn’t see any millennials doing even ironically.

Age appropriate? No question. A gentleman asked the year I was born for Chinese zodiac purposes, and as I often do, bet him that I was older than he was. I was not. So you know, 2020 is the year of the rat, my year, and I will not be stopped.